i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
3pm strippers are depressing
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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