lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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