Don't make out with my wife yet
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
