Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
