Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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