I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
How naked do you want me to be?
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