Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
