Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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