She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
