I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
