so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
