I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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