I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
