Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I checked into jail on foursquare
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
