At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
