Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
