Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
This is the high leading the old right now
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
