there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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