Got a toothbrush?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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