Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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