Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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