You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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