I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
