So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
