If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
