My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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