This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
