she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
