Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
