We won't sleep together?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Pants are for mortals
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I woke up under a house in Key West
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
