and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
