end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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