...so i touched it.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
