trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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