i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
