Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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