She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
