Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
