i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
