you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
