I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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