My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
