He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
