her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
