even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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