If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
