Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
