i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she smelled like a LAN party
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
