you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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