I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
