Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
