No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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